Yesterday, I was stuck in Boston’s South Station for an hour and a half waiting for a train. I was psyched, at first, to see there was a wifi connection in the station. But it turned out to be the PulsePoint, a dumb online “community” for the station without any Internet connection. (I was hoping to provide links to the site, but you can’t access it from the real Internet.) The site’s main feature, besides a crappy gallery, seemed to be a communal blog. So of course people used it to complain about how much they hate the fake wifi. Subject lines include “Suck Internet” and “SOUTH STATION BAD INTERNET”.

My favorite of these posts comes from DiamondFloor, who writes:

As someone who develops these bad ideas for a living, I can see how the planning of this particular bad idea might have gone. Someone noticed that South Station was being left behind in the internet-access-that forces-users-to-an-ugly-intro-page boom, and wanted to be a part. A younger – perhaps better looking – staff member was asked to create it, but, having experienced the force-page syndrome in airports, rebelled. He (she perhaps) rose up! “This is absurd!” she said (just as I am saying now.) “Why should we cramp people in to one goddamn page just because you – the Transportation Authority of Massachusetts are too stingy to hire an IT security expert?!”

She – I assume – was immediately fired.

The writer goes on to describe how the Globe/South Station people must have hired someone dumber and more willing to sell his/her soul to develop this shit-awful page. Then there’s Akkuma, who decides to tell his entire life story on the South Station community blog. At first I thought he was kidding about that, but he wasn’t. Lots of trauma, mohawks, punk rock band that played CGCBs, gay dad, evil great uncle who molested his mom, much weirdness, all in 19 years. (A side note: Anything you post on the site becomes the property of the Boston Globe, which can reuse it as it sees fit.) And there’s the guy who posts: “I just got this computer and I have no idea how to operate it… I am a total neophyte.”

But my favorite posting comes from ihatepulsepoint, who writes:

Little Kids Are Idiots. There is a little kid chasing one of the infamous south station pidgeons (sic) around… he just bumped into my table… what an idiot. little kids are idiots. I have included a detailed illustration explaining my situation, so that anyone can understand my perspective on the scenario. I am sure you can all relate.

And here’s the illustration he drew:

He received more comments than anyone else on the site:

“Hey there; my name is Mark Linn-Baker. I am an actor, and I saw your painting and I wanted to say that it is very good! Good luck in your career!”

“Do not forget that at one time you too were an “idiot” kid. After surviving through that period of life, you have gained knowledge and wisdom (hopefully) that you lacked at that “kid’s” age. It is now up to you share your knowledge and wisdom (if you have acquired any) with the younger generation instead of denigrating them for their lack of life experience.”

“If you tried to ’share’ anything with the younger generation these days, you would probably be looked upon as a pedophile.”

“Listen Douche Bag….. i’ll shank you if you dont start being nice to kids ok>?”

That last comment comes from someone named “packyourknives.” I started making fun of his/her comment aloud, but then it occurred to me that he/she could still be hanging around the station, shank at the ready. A side note: I was a huge fan of Mark Linn-Baker when he was doing stage acting around New England, before he found stardom in that Peter O’Toole movie and Perfect Strangers. I would be swooning if he praised my Macpaint illustration.