Just stop. Or we won’t watch.
OK, I get that Torchwood is basically slash fic made into a TV series. And in theory, that sounds like a great idea. I love slash, so you would think Torchwood would be my favorite show. Alas, it’s not as great as it sounds. For one thing, most slash fic takes established characters from science fiction, who have at least a modicum of depth and likeability, and puts them into sexual situations. Torchwood shows us what happens when you create slash characters from scratch and plunge them into the sexual situations without bothering to make them likeable or interesting first. The other problem with Torchwood, of course, is that the sex isn’t particularly graphic. I do have to admit the lesbian telepathy sex in “Greeks Bearing Gifts” was sort of fun, though. I got very stroppy when Captain Jack used the example of his “friend” who had undergone a sex change, to prove that you have to pay attention to people who start acting funny. As if transgentrification is comparable to being seduced by an alien serial killer. But mostly I’m confused by the whole stopwatch scene in the following episode. After eight episodes of some of the dumbest sex talk I’ve ever heard, we suddenly get this incredibly bizarre and clumsy innuendo about how “there are lots of things you can do with a stopwatch.” The fan communities are perplexed.
Polonius writes, “What the hell was that? Was it just the most awkward proposition in the history of sexual tension?”
Doug S asks, “I still can’t work out what they’re on about,” and Beth replies, “It’s got a knob on top, apparently.”
Rheacarlysse says, “Stopwatch!porn, people. Stopwatch!porn is my new kink.”
Or this exchange from the Torchwood TV blog:
Re the stopwatch theory, I find it a bit hard to believe that Ianto would be eager to get it on with the man who only 3 weeks ago killed his girlfriend without any remorse. And what does a stopwatch have to do with sex? I didn’t like the last scene at all, just didn’t get it. Note to the writers-enough with the innuendo, tell us exactly what you mean!!
Totally agree with the above comment. The writers have to stop thinking like desperate fanfic-ers and give us actual adult, in-depth, gritty plotlines. Also, ‘adult sci-fi’ should really include some sci-fi at some point.
Various people have asked for Jack/Ianto stopwatch fic, and Sasskitten obliges. But then the show’s official site also provides a continuation of the scene.
I have to say that the show is interesting in a “car wreck” kind of way.
Now there’s the whole “the darkness is coming to get you” bit at the end. Is that supposed to be forshadowing? OOO!
I have to say this is the first place (other than my own LJ) where I’ve seen someone else say what I’ve been thinking about TW all along. It has it’s moments – some of them are brilliant. Alas, the omgwtff’ery often outweighs those moments.
Also, this is the only place where I found an explanation for the ridiculous stopwatch innuendo.
There was a recent article about how there will not be a crossover between Torchwood and Dr. Who. That Dr. Who is more of a children’s show compared to Torchwood. This doesn’t surprise me as the only thing I can imagine in such a crossover is the look of horror in the Dr’s face as he see’s the operation of Torchwood.
Has anyone made any slash incorporating the Dr’s hand?
There’s a “Jack/Hand – the ultimate wrong!ship” community:
http://community.livejournal.com/gimme_the_jar/profile
Wow. Just wow. I had forgotten about the severed hand, but now Jack/Hand is my new favorite slash.
I just finished watching season one of Torchwood. Sorry but this show has to be the worst show I have ever seen. The writing is some childish it’s amazing. The main character get’s betrayed by ALL of his team members yet he still allows them to work with him. It doesn’t help that the main character is secretive when there is no need to be. The guy with the cybergirl should have been shot. Actually they all should be killed. They are all fatally flawed. Their selfishness and inability to see the big picture is so stupid it hurts my head. I can accept some flaws in a character but these people are walking flaws. I see no redeeming qualities in any of them. I wouldn’t trust them with jack shit. Even the immortal Jack is so incredibly stupid.